Masking Tape Messages

{ November 18, 2009 @ 4:57 am } · { Uncategorized }
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As a joke one of my aides wrote a message to a student on a piece of masking tape and stuck it to him, I’m not clear on the context of it but it was funny needless to say.  I’ll have her explain how it started at a later date.

I literally laughed out loud at this and decided it was good fun, soon all the kids wanted a masking tape message some of the messages included:

  • Meow… this kid L-O-V-E-S cats, she wears her cat hoodie EVERY day!!!  She’ll even answer questions with “meow”
  • Violence is not the answer, this kid has had a violent streak lately
  • doctor… this was a reminder to the “ear kid” about telling his mom that he has got to go to the doctor about his ears!!!
  • I will give it my all at PE… this was a reminder to a student who is lagging at PE lately
  • I will not mimic… this kid has been mimicking staff and I’m ready to knock his head off his shoulders!!!

I stuck the messages to the inside sleeve of their hoodies!!!  So when they hold up their arms as if they are looking at a watch they’ll see the message!!!

Teacher Tip:

  • Entertain yourself and try this technique!!!

You took that out of your ear?

{ November 18, 2009 @ 4:41 am } · { Uncategorized }
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So one of my students has had gross ears all year long…

  • crusty
  • dry
  • itty bitty scabs
  • itchy

consequently he CONSTANTLY has a finger jammed in his ears!!!  Mind you this kid most likely has the cure to cancer somewhere in his brain (so smart) but socially OMG he’s a nightmare.  I lovingly call him “pigpen” behind his back of course!!!

So said student was digging in his ear again during the morning.  One of my program aides happened to be in the classroom with him when he PULLED an object out of his ear!!!  Yes… AN OBJECT!!!

This aide was horrified by the object!  And abruptly had the student dispose of the object in the classroom trashcan.

At the end of the day another aide brings this student to my room because she found out about the object!  She had just taken him to the nurse’s office but she was out for the day.  The student happily reports that he was shocked by what he pulled out of his ear.  For this student to be shocked has me tripped out because he has the flattest affect ever, his reaction has me dieing to know!!!

This female aide and I decide that WE HAVE GOT TO KNOW what the object was!!!  (Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE CSI?)  So we found out which trashcan he disposed of the object in.  I go to that classroom and grab the trashcan.  The teacher looks at me like I’m from outer space, which in all honesty I am!!!  I explain about the object and she says, “you deserve a raise.”  I laugh!!!  I take the trashcan back to my classroom.

The female aide and I put on our medical grade plastic gloves and begin digging through the trash.  All I know is we’re looking for an object that is about 2 inches long and has a shape the looks sperm-like. 

While digging we find:

  • many tissues that DO NOT contain boogers… thus allowing us to conclude that kids are getting out of their seats needlessly AND they are wasteful (don’t these little shits know that tissues COST MONEY?)
  • a couple tissues that do contain boogers
  • about 4 notes that had been passed back and forth between kids, most of them are ripped up into confetti
  • pencil shavings from an electric sharpener (these are really small and fine like the zest of a lemon)
  • pencil shavings from a hand-held sharpener (these are larger and have a curl to them like shaved chocolate)

Just when we were about to give up I spotted it!!!

Did I mention that our giggling drew in an audience?  Kids from next door to my room came in to see what we were doing!!!  They was super curious because the two of us are standing there digging through a trash can with rubber gloves on… yes we are freaks!!!

So now that we have the object we have to decide what to do with it.  So of course we grab a paper plate and a ruler!!!  Remember how I love CSI?  Upon closer inspection we CANNOT figure out what the heck it is!!!  We take pictures… it measures about 5 centimeters!!!

A few hours later I’m still at a loss for what this object is.  Luckily, I’ve just told this story to my massage therapist and she’s in hysterics I sheepishly report that I have the object in my car (in a ziploc)!!!  As I check out with the receptionist at the office I decide I’ve gotta get her opinion as to what this is… she is a nursing student.  She takes a look a the object and says, “Q-Tip.”  Holy crap… she’s right it is the tip of a Q-Tip!!!

Points to Ponder:

  • How long was that in his ear?
  • Where is shit’s sake is this kid’s mom?
  • Will he suffer long term damage to his hearing?
  • Did a little bit of his brain become fused to the end of this object?  Oh shit what if the chunk of his brain that was removed was the bit that was storing the cure for cancer?  We’re screwed!!!

Teacher Tip:

  • CSI is fun!
  • Knowing is ALWAYS better than not knowing!
  • DO NOT give this kid Q-Tips
  • Surround yourself with like minded staff… you’ll always have a partner in crime this way!!!

American Grandpa

{ November 17, 2009 @ 2:51 am } · { Uncategorized }
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As told by one of my instructional asssitants:
Loves the fact that one of my students wears an ‘Amerian Grandpa’ sweatshirt. I am sure he has no idea thats what his sweatshirt says, not because he can’t read but because he HASN’T bothered to read it!

Between 1st and 2nd period I usually eat some trail mix as a snack since I don’t eat breakfast. I got to 2nd period, finished my snack and then started helping my ‘American Grandpa’ student in math. All of the sudden, he lifts the collar of his sweatshirt up above his nose so that all that could be seen were his eyes. At first I tried to ignore it but thought it was so dang odd that’d he would sit there in class with his sweatshirt sitting halfway up his head, that I finally had to stop and ask why he was covering his nose/face with his sweatshirt. Of course he looked at me like I was the one that was stupid, and said, “it smells like peanuts!”

Apparently, he doesn’t like peanuts!!! Must have been just too sensory for him!!!

Funny and TRUE Article!!!

{ November 16, 2009 @ 12:27 am } · { Uncategorized }
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http://www.cracked.com/article/195_7-things-good-parents-do-that-screw-kids-up-life/

 

Autism, Boobs, Puberty… Part 3

{ November 13, 2009 @ 3:04 am } · { Uncategorized }
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The team decided that we should collect some data since the first attempt with the social story (my version of a social story) didn’t work.  TODAY the student looked at either my boobs or the aide’s boobs 33 times!!!

So tomorrow I’ll be discussing the 33 times with the student.  It is expected that he will deny it.  What is the game plan you ask???  I am to explain that a woman NEVER mistakes it when a man is looking at her breasts.  To give the student some credit he was considerably sneakier with his ogling.  So the story did work in that regard!!!

Teacher Tip:

  • Comfortable relationships with your staff are KEY because who else are you going to be able to trust to collect data on how many times a kid looks at your boobs while you’re not looking!!!

I was sexually assaulted… technically!!!

{ November 11, 2009 @ 3:47 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Sexual assault is any type of sexual activity that you do not agree to, including:

  • Inappropriate touching

 

One of my students (boy, 13, Asperger’s Syndrome) was having a really off day.  In his defense his meds are being adjusted and puberty has hit.  In an attempt to help him burn off some excess energy I tried to get him to jump on the trampoline (he wasn’t into it), I tried to get him to go for a run (he wasn’t having it), he was trying to escape me so when I called him back to me with a stern look he invaded my personal space.  He put his crotch onto the back of my hand!!!  While saying “you touched me inappropriately!” 

 I luckily did not flip out on him!!!  In my head I said, “you little bastard!!!”  Out loud I said, “get over here NOW.”  He was still bouncing about like a kangaroo on crack so I was able to get him to do some up and downs on a small curb while I spoke to him.

 I explained that:

1.) he sexually assaulted me

2.) I could/should file a police report on him

3.) I am angry with him

 When I mentioned the “police report” he had that “I’m in deep shit” look!  Then he said, “this would go on my permanent record?”

 Teacher Tip:

  • Having a flat affect is your friend when dealing with these types of situations, thank God I’ve mastered my flat affect!!!
  • Call the parent right away.  I happen to have a great relationship with this parent so it isn’t as an uncomfortable situation as it could be.
  • Tell an administrator right away… again luckily I have a good relationship with mine.  So he was able to laugh with me as I’m peeing myself telling him this!
  • Letting the student have some movement while we spoke was KEY to him making a realization about his behavior.  Sometimes cracked out kangaroos just need to bounce to do their best thinking!!!

 And because every time I’ve told this story someone has asked… no the student wasn’t hard!  Had he been my reaction would have not been so cool calm and collected!!!

Autism, Boobs, Puberty… PART 2

{ November 11, 2009 @ 1:53 am } · { Uncategorized }
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The shameless boob ogling continues!!!  So, I enlisted the help of some colleagues. 

Teacher Tip:

  • Bring as many colleagues along with you on your sinking ship
  • Social Stories (my version of them) are SOOOOO FUN!!!

 

SOCIAL STORY FOR: Looking at Women

 Boys and men often notice women’s bodies.  Women have breasts.  Women’s breasts are private.  Women feel uncomfortable when people stare at their breasts.  

 

Men often quickly look at a woman’s body when a woman isn’t looking.  Staring, or looking a woman’s body or her breasts for more than a second, makes a woman have uncomfortable thoughts about us.  When women feel uncomfortable about us, they do not want to be around us.  We want women to feel comfortable when they are around us.  If we are curious about a woman’s body, we will look quickly at her body when she is not looking at us.  We will look at her face when we talk to her. When talking to a woman, it is important to look at her face and not stare at her breasts.  Looking at her face lets a woman know that we are listening to her and makes her feel comfortable with us.

 

And 10 minutes after I read this to the student and I confirmed comprehension he ogled the aide’s boobs!!!  When I called him on it he said “what no I wasn’t” he pulled his hoodie over his eyes with a grin.  I said “oh yes you were I saw you!”  He said, “No I look in eyes.”  And I WANTED to say “those are not her eyes!!!”

Side Note:

  • DO NOT waste your time telling me this isn’t an actual “social story” I already know that!!!  That is why I said it is MY version of a social story!!!  I don’t have time to follow that crazy ass formula for social stories.  HOWEVER, if you’d like to take MY social story and turn it into an ACTUAL “SOCIAL STORY”  I’d love to use it!!!

 

Ya’ I’m mean!!!

{ November 10, 2009 @ 3:10 am } · { Uncategorized }
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*I got this poem from another website.

Plenty of my students have told me that I am a mean teacher.  After reading this, I can feel very good about being called a mean teacher.  But I never really felt bad about it to be real with you this is just one of those things… perhaps I’ll print a few copies of this to give to the kids as they call me “mean!” 

Teacher Tip:

  • Always have the last word!!!

A MEAN teacher insists that each student do the best s/he is capable of doing.

A MEAN teacher insists that students hand in their assignments on time and takes off points for late assignments.

A MEAN teacher does not accept incomplete assignments.

A MEAN teacher requires each student to think carefully and to make her/his own decisions.

A MEAN teacher holds each student responsible for her/his own behavior.

A MEAN teacher makes students keep the classroom, themselves, and their belongings neat and clean.

A MEAN teacher does not allow free time in class until all class-work is done.

A MEAN teacher gives homework regularly, sometimes even on weekends.

A MEAN teacher calls on students who don’t raise their hands to answer questions.

A MEAN teacher requires all students to treat each other with respect.

A MEAN teacher makes life miserable for students by insisting that they always tell the truth.

A MEAN teacher produces students who are respectful, responsible, and successful.

THE WORLD NEEDS MORE MEAN* TEACHERS!

*(MEAN = Making Excellence A Necessity)

So you wanna teach?

{ November 10, 2009 @ 1:37 am } · { Uncategorized }
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PLEASE before you commit to a teacher credential program, do yourself a favor and:

  •  talk to 5 actual teachers… off the record
  • sit in a classroom of kids for 2 full days (from first bell to last)
  • attend 1 faculty meeting (from beginning to end)
  • attend 1 PTA meeting (from beginning to end)

Autism, Boobs, Puberty

{ November 10, 2009 @ 1:31 am } · { Uncategorized }
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One of my students, on the spectrum (high) was looking at my boobs so hard (I was wearing a crew neck tee and a cardigan) that I put on an additional jacket… he kept right on staring!!! It went from funny to icky!!!

We’ve been thinking, “is he looking at my/our boobs?” and now we know without a doubt… YES he is looking!!!

Teacher Tip:
~Keep an extra sweater in your room, not for the weater… to keep your boobs under wraps!!!

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